“Blessed are They That Mourn,” He Said.

NOW, why might Christ have gone and said that, about the walking wounded? What might he have seen that we are missing completely? What exactly is so blessed about the agonizing journey of grief, that awful and all-consuming process of coming to terms with a damnable, incomprehensible fact: the always-present felt absence, forever, of one without whom life cannot be imagined?

"Blessed?" Thank you no, I'll pass. That's one club I sure don't want to be part of. Yet I am, for I have loved, and loved well.

“His mother loved him dearly, and used to rock him to sleep with her trunk, singing to him softly the while." The Story of Babar

The greater the love, it seems, the more intense the sadness at its loss, the sharper and more various the shards of its ruins. There are no words for the whole experience, really. Those suddenly left bewildered in that desolate landscape wander within the shadows of a night that seems beyond the cycle of coming daylight, and thus unnatural and out-of-place. They are "mad with grief" in the words of the late great Paul Monette, and beyond real consolation. They are paying the price of their love.

The wicked hunter shoots Babar's mother  The Story of Babar

THEY are having an experience, truly an ultimate experience, but it makes "the rest of us" uncomfortable because we have no idea what is to be done. It's not like we haven't suffered grave losses of our own, often in the same deaths. It's not even really that we don't understand. The challenge may be more that we do. And we are utterly horrified.

So we start watching the calendar and making pragmatic assessments as to "stages of healing," we pass along to one another books on "Death and Dying" and "Grief," we consult the experts and think about whether to start them on medication, and when. We love these lost souls so dear to us, and feel their pain. With all of our hearts we want to help them, to really reach them. We pray to see them back to their old selves, really enrolled in life again, to want to be here. Yet we have no clue how to help get them there. All we find at hand are cliches in clusters, misunderstandings, and judgmental pronouncements that may be easy to pass, with the best of intentions, yet serve no useful purpose.

The Human heart must rate high among the most mysterious of things. It is strong and deep. It is amazingly resilient. And utterly fragile.

I have lived through it myself. In a very real sense, when Scott took his last breath that morning I died too. At least the "me" I had always known. A new journey had begun, birthed in pure mystery and thus one of great power, that is still very much always unfolding, taking shape. Along the way I have come to understand that some part of my purpose is to help others lost in grief, those inexplicably "left behind," those now feeling as pain the love that should have died along with their beloved, but (most cruelly) did not.

"Oh, Paul," she wrote me in one of her beautiful, nearly illegible letters from California, "You really can't know what it's like." My first reaction was to bristle, ever so slightly. "How can she say that?" Then, I settled down and stopped to listen to the thought she'd expressed. I realized, "That's true, I really cannot." Each experience of grief must be unique, exactly as much so as the relationship that gave it birth. So I wrote to her and said, "That's true, Carol. I thought about what you said, and you are absolutely right. If each love is unique, and they certainly are, then so must be a survivor's experience of its loss." "But for that very reason and in that same sense, Carol," I wrote," with all due respect, you cannot ever really understand the nature of my loss."

And it seemed true; it seemed to address her unspoken cry. This is the way it is. We are all in the experience, together and alone. But as I see it, It is love that led us into this mess and it is Love that will see us through. I feel more than I see, and know more than I understand. But this I see, feel, and know.

"Blessed are they that mourn," he said. Blessed how?? Maybe because this is the human plight: the highest and best that we can hope for is to be left utterly heartbroken. Because the greatest dream that guides and lifts us is that one day (and may it be soon, we pray) we will find the one that will complete and fulfill us. Yet we cannot, need not, really forget that all things are temporary, and that as a matter of certainty death will part us, sooner or later. Is it not insane to give ourselves over in love, fully and without reservation, knowing the rules of the game? Part of us pales and gasps Yes!, while another deeper, more ancient voice says No, it is all right. It is in love alone that we are to seek our salvation.

Relax: we have no choice. We are here to live, not engage in a decades-long preparation for our deaths. If we are only here for a while, let's not keep fear as our chosen companion. It offers no real safety, anyway. And it cannot keep us warm at night, or give us a reason for awakening with gladness unto a new day.


Prospect Park, Brooklyn ________P. Crockett

BLESSED are they that mourn, indeed. For they have not only loved, as in past tense. They love still, though they may be enshrouded in pain unbearable with no hope visible on the horizon, and have no idea what to do with their love. My God! How they love. And their longing is not in vain. It may be heard in Heaven like the most sweet, soft kind of music. Received as a parched flower bed drinks in the falling rain. Received as a prayer.

But for those that mourn, especially, Heaven or anything remotely like it can seem impossibly far away. It is for these people, the lost and love-scarred, it is for myself and for you that I have told my story. I have written a book about my journey of life and death, about finding and losing my soul mate, and then (much to my astonishment) finding him again, forever.

It is a story about healing, and the presence and everyday involvement of angels. Its essential message is Listen to your heart: it will tell you, sure and certain as your heartbeat: Love never dies. Follow love where it leads you, holding nothing back.

This is what we are here for, and somehow, some way, all shall be well. Maybe not exactly the way you might imagine it (but then again, what ever has been?), but still, all right. I have learned that Death ends a life, but not a relationship. And holding on to that assurance in your heart, still and small, can change everything.

If you are still here, you're not done. Listen to your heart. Do not be afraid.

Listen. What is it telling you?

To Chapter 1

3 Responses to ““Blessed are They That Mourn,” He Said.”

  1. AntiSatan says:

    God has been the difference in my own life during times of loneliness, heartbreak, and pain. I know too well what it means of not getting encouraged by others and the hurt that comes from that. I've found that only God always offer encouragement and hope, much better than any human can offer. I can only imagine how it feels to be widowed. I have the taste of having a soul tie broken- I've gotten dumped in the past and it's hurt me so much in the past. The Bible teaches that a sexual relationship (whether marital or premarital) results in the man and woman becoming one (a soul tie). Rejection and abandonment are all painful things. King Solomon said that everything in this world is vanity, everything is meaningless- a chasing after the wind. Eventually whatever we gain in this world (relationships, success, wealth), we lose them all at some point. There is something you can never lose though- God. God surpasses everything in our lives. Our thirsting for things in this world (especially human relationships) is evidence that we need something greater than those things to satisfy us because everything except God will end up failing you in some way. God has promised us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. God can't die on us and leave us in a state of loneliness. God won't cheat on us, dump us and go off with someone else. Sin and it's consequence of death was brought into this world by mankind themselves (Adam and Eve's disobedience). Why the rest of mankind had to be affected and suffer because of two people's choice is something we may not understand in this life. We could keep asking questions and speculate- like asking why couldn't God just dispose of Adam and Even and start a new race from an incorruptible human? I remember God getting saturated with the Israelites' complaining and rebellion and telling Moses that He was planning to wipe them out and instead start a nation from Moses (refer to Exodus 32:9-14). However, Moses interceded on the behalf of the Israelites and pointed out how their enemies could use their destruction to slander God and try to make Him look like the evil being. Thus sin's effects are very complex. Regardless of man's stupidity, God has been working since the Garden of Eden to restore mankind through His plan of salvation (He's been trying to correct and clean the mess created by mankind). Those who obey His way of salvation will be free from sin, pain and death in the future. He's going to create a new and better world for those who choose to love and obey Him. Whenever you feel lonely or feel that you're missing something in your life- realize that God wants to fill that void in your life. So many times I've been ignorant about the Bible. We're trained from our birth to live by our 5 senses- thus we look to perceive God with those senses.  Most of the time, we can't perceive God with our 5 senses as He is a spiritual being. God has wanted me to develop my spiritual senses and rely on His word (the Bible) to experience Him. I've learned to always see God's word as alive, powerful, and relevant for each day. When I've failed to see that in the past, it's robbed me so much joy and peace. I've learned to look at the Bible as a powerful and active gateway/portal to God. We can try to occupy our minds with so many different things in this world to try and fill the void in our lives or suppress the pain, but all of those things will keep us still hungry and thirsty. God has promised us that if we reach out to Him, He will give us rest, quench our thirst, and satisfy our hunger. If you haven't done that, I hope you will give God a chance. I further hope that God will use you to go and reach others with His word, just like He has used me to reach out to you. Many people in this world are hurting just like you. Many are just looking for a simple act of kindness or a word of encouragement (words are powerful- they can heal and motivate or when used in an evil manner destroy others) which they don't receive from others. Ultimately, many even end their own lives because they feel hopeless and want to end their pain of torment- all because they've failed to see God was nearby all along and they failed to perceive Him with their spiritual senses. God loves you more than any human in this world! He wants to be your companion today and take care of you and your family's needs. I hope you see and explore His love for you today through the Bible- the Bible is the secret source for unraveling peace and joy for you when you can't find them in this world. I can't give you physical copy of the Bible right now, but you can freely access it online at (www.biblegateway.com). May God bless you, heal you and strengthen you and your family. Continue to write and help others for His glory. Claim God's promises to you from His word today. Humans will likely fail to encourage you when you really need it, however, God won't fail. All you need to do is turn to His word. It is available 24/7 whenever you need it- to experience God. Please read these verses when you get the chance- Isaiah 55:11-13; Jeremiah 49:11; Psalm 146:9; Psalm 68:5; Isaiah 54:4-6; Revelation 21:1-7.

  2. Kate says:

    Death of a loved one tears away a piece of the total weaving that Is our life leaving us naked and raw and desperate to repaIr it. But the unique color and type of thread a particular person wove themself into our life is one of a kind. So we patch up the hole, continue on and then new people weave themselves into our life. At the end our fabric is a panoply of patches.

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